November 5, 2009

things are going almost too well

Everything is falling into place. With family, money, the future, life…things where there is always something going horribly awry. Everything isn’t great, there are a million things I would change if I could, but overall life is going really well. I haven’t had to find the good in the little things because there has been good everywhere, screaming at me for attention I’m more than willing to give. Happiness has been effortless as of late.

There’s like this protective bubble of troubles past that keep the little normal life annoyances from penetrating too deep. I used to think it kept big, wonderful things from getting in, too, and made exceptions for all big terrible things. But now it seems like all the great is flooding in and I’m starting to get everything that I’ve ever wanted plus things I never expected. I’m trying to enjoy and take it all in stride but I can’t help feeling like the bubble is going to get too full and burst, drowning the good with bad, again. I keep getting inklings of the mean reds and have to fight them off, stay positive, enjoy what I’ve got without worrying about what I could lose. I don’t want to be one of those people who makes things go wrong or looks for something bad because it’s easier to be wanting than to be happy. It’s easier to fake it than make it, to put up the illusion of happiness than to feel it truly and deeply. To feel it that intensely, that’s one of the scariest things in the world. How messed up is that?

I hope I’m not jinxing it.

Comments
8:59pm
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.

Buzz Lightyear

Joss Whedon co-wrote Toy Story?! So badass.

(via itsonlylife)

Can’t believe you didn’t know that!

(via makeyourself)

I know, right? I’m still learning how far reaching and amazing the Whedonverse is!

Comments
8:17pm    adventures in babysitting  
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.

Buzz Lightyear

Joss Whedon co-wrote Toy Story?! So badass.

Comments
4:01pm
Hanson was on campus today and apparently they are hardcore activists now. They do “The Walk” all over the world where they lead people on a mile long walk barefoot and then donate a dollar to different organizations in Africa for every person who completes it. If you walk you get to say whether you want your dollar to go to water, education, medicine, shoes, etc. They led a couple hundred people through campus barefoot and then performed a few songs acoustically. They were actually pretty good and have this indie blues thing goin on. I told my boss that I needed to take an hour off in the middle of the day to watch because they were the first cd I ever bought. They did not play MMMBop even though the show wasn’t very well advertised so people were all over their cell phones saying things like “yes, MMMBop Hanson, get over here now” or “omg I feel like I’m 10 again!” It was fun seeing a whole generation of people who were there essentially because of that one song. I sort of fangirled out when they were leaving because one of my friends in the dorms didn’t know they were there and couldn’t get to the show on time. I followed them (along with 30 other people) to the parking lot with her on the phone running to try and see them before they left. I was directing her around buildings and saying exactly where we were. “He’s the guy in the leather jacket going down the steps next to health center, turn left and you’ll see him!” It was awesome in a slightly creepy and nostalgia driven way. And they definitely cannot be confused with girls anymore.

Hanson was on campus today and apparently they are hardcore activists now. They do “The Walk” all over the world where they lead people on a mile long walk barefoot and then donate a dollar to different organizations in Africa for every person who completes it. If you walk you get to say whether you want your dollar to go to water, education, medicine, shoes, etc.

They led a couple hundred people through campus barefoot and then performed a few songs acoustically. They were actually pretty good and have this indie blues thing goin on. I told my boss that I needed to take an hour off in the middle of the day to watch because they were the first cd I ever bought.

They did not play MMMBop even though the show wasn’t very well advertised so people were all over their cell phones saying things like “yes, MMMBop Hanson, get over here now” or “omg I feel like I’m 10 again!” It was fun seeing a whole generation of people who were there essentially because of that one song.

I sort of fangirled out when they were leaving because one of my friends in the dorms didn’t know they were there and couldn’t get to the show on time. I followed them (along with 30 other people) to the parking lot with her on the phone running to try and see them before they left. I was directing her around buildings and saying exactly where we were. “He’s the guy in the leather jacket going down the steps next to health center, turn left and you’ll see him!”

It was awesome in a slightly creepy and nostalgia driven way. And they definitely cannot be confused with girls anymore.

Comments
November 4, 2009
On campus tomorrow at 11:45?!? How did I not know about this? My 9 year old self is totally stoked.

On campus tomorrow at 11:45?!? How did I not know about this? My 9 year old self is totally stoked.

Comments
7:12pm

A mobler of Lloyd Doblers!


Why so far away? Why not here?!

(via)

Comments
6:39pm

Woooooo!

My professor actually took the time to read the Shakesville page on rape culture. He admitted that there were some things he could have clarified and approached from a different angle in class to get his point across and he addressed everything today!

He changed his mind and seriously considered what I said even after initially dismissing it! Yay!

Speaking up for things you care about can make a difference!

Go team!

Comments
10:04am
I handed her our petition and the comments. She read them both through thoroughly, and came back to me. She said, while she supported Polanski as a friend, a crime is a crime. I don’t know whether she had realised the extent of Polanski’s crime, but she is now fully aware. She will remove her name from the petition – in fact, she said she would call today and sort it out. Even though, she stressed, Polanski has had some truly terrible experiences in his lifetime, experiences that we couldn’t even imagine and which should not be taken out of the equation, she agreed that she could not put her name to a petition asking for his release.

Shakesville: Emma Update

This woman had a chance to meet Emma Thompson, so she put together a petition to get her to remove her name from the free Roman Polanski petition. Apparently, it worked. Read her full letter with Emma’s original reasoning and her change of heart at the link above.

Comments
November 3, 2009

misterpeace:

Depression is a fiction.  It’s not necessarily that I’d rather it be a lie, it’s that it IS a lie objectively because the notion that life is a disaster doesn’t take into account the way you feel when someone makes you laugh or the fact that sometimes people are nice to you for no good reason other than it’s the right thing to do or that the world is full of beauty, from music to a sunset to a cat curled up in a window sill.

So I’m aware of these things and it occurs to me that, in order to STAY depressed, I have to willfully ignore them.  It’s like you have to deny yourself the very real and tangible things in your life that make you happy every day.  Really, being depressed is not only a bad way to live, it’s just INACCURATE and I don’t have the energy to keep lying to myself and pretending things are that awful.

I wholeheartedly disagree. Depression is a chemical reaction in your brain that keeps you from being able to ignore everything. For some people depression is not a choice. They don’t want to feel that way. They try to focus on the good but are physically unable to. Their brains will not let them. It’s not a conscious decision to be sad all the time. It’s not even being sad or dwelling. It’s the complete absence of feeling altogether.

In the same way some people are predisposed to a jovial nature and can choose to be happy, some people can’t. It’s not a denial of the real and tangible things in life, it’s the inability to enjoy them or respond to them in a normal way. True depression is not saying life is a disaster, it’s being unable to care about the disastrous things and unable to see the beauty in a sunset.

Comments
8:43pm

hey kdessss

It gets better. I promise. I can’t tell you what to do because you have to figure it out what is right for you on your own but if anything, try not to isolate yourself. I wasted a year moping in my dorm room and I see now that I learned a lot about myself and life but it was really tough and I was miserable. Go on that DC trip (if you’re healthy enough!), get out there, get involved with something, anything, don’t cut yourself off from old friends and home but don’t rely on them for happiness.

Completely ignore this if you feel like you’re not in the right place to do any of that. There are some points in life we have to go through alone and you could learn a lot about yourself, I sure as hell did. But try not to give up on your school if you really love it there, don’t let other people’s opinions of what is right control your own.

I know that all was completely unsolicited but I wish I had someone to tell me I wasn’t alone when I was in your position, which is really how I got sucked into Tumblr in the first place. I’m also exponentially better at responding to emails than I was 6 months ago if you ever want to talk about it.

Comments